A Haters Guide to the New Orleans Saints

Welcome to a “Hater’s Guide to The New Orleans Saints.” Hopefully, in this article, I can provide you with enough reasons for you to hate the ‘Aints.

Coach- Sean Payton

Sean Payton is the saints head coach who willingly allowed Bounty-Gate to happen (more on that later). After that whole debacle, he received a year long suspension, even when he should’ve been fired, and Saints fans created “Free Sean Payton” shirts acting like he was in jail.

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He also, in our previous matchup, made a choking symbol to Devonta Freeman but claimed he didn’t. Then, this week, he backtracked and said he regretted it even though just a week earlier he said he had no idea it happened.

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I never knew this but as pointed out on the Falcons’ Subreddit, his face also looks like a cat butt.

Drew Brees is EVERYWHERE.

He has been in 10 times the amount of commercials Matt Ryan has been in. Matt Ryan has only been the main person promoting something in 1 ad out of 6 that he appears in. Drew Brees has been in 63 commercials and I’m sure many more Billboard ads and print ads in New Orleans. It doesn’t matter what the product is, he will endorse it. I especially hate this ad:

Alvin Kamara Nose ring

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I mean look at how stupid it looks. He also has a complete gold grill that doesn’t even look cool as well as another nose piercing.

Dumb pictures after turnover

They pose for a group picture after every single turnover and its really annoying. It’s their own version of the “Turnover Chain” and it isn’t very good. It backfired on them eventually against the Falcons and of course Falcons fans went after them with this picture:

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Music/Rappers

The only good thing music wise to come out of New Orleans is Jazz and Lil Wayne. Jazz isn’t even 100% from New Orleans so let’s look at the rappers New Orleans have produced. Master P, DJ Khaled, Lil Wayne, Kevin Gates, and Mystikal are really the only important rappers they’ve produced and even Lil Wayne doesn’t like Saints Fans:

. I’m sure everyone knows about Atlanta hip hop artists and rappers but I’ll go over it anyways. 2 Chainz, 21 Savage, Akon, Andre 3000, B.o.B, Bankroll Fresh, Big Boi, Boyz n da Hood, Future, CeeLo Green, Lil Jon, Lil Scrappy, Lil Yachty, Ludacris, Migos, Outkast, Phife Dawg, Playboi Carti, Rich Homie Quan, Russ, Soulja Boy, T.I., Trinidad James, Waka Flocka Flame, YFN Lucci, Ying Yang Twins, and Young Thug.

Colleges

The only Big Name college in New Orleans is Tulane and in Atlanta it is Georgia Tech. LSU is also located an hour outside New Orleans so we can compare Georgia Tech and LSU. In football, Georgia Tech holds the all time series record 12-7 as well having the longest win streak. Georgia Tech also has more national championships and Conference championships. LSU holds the best all time record and more bowl games but Georgia Tech holds the best bowl record. In Basketball Georgia Tech has more conference championships but LSU has a higher overall winning percentage and leads the all time series 12-10. In Academics, Georgia Tech is a top 10 public school while LSU isn’t top 25.

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Drew Brees screwed me in fantasy

This year, I thought since the saints only source of offense the last three years has been Drew Brees and how he has thrown for almost 5,000 yards every year that I would draft him as my QB. Of course, the one year I draft him, he isn’t the only source of offense.

The Fans

  • One saints fan decided to sue the saints because they “disrespected” the anthem and he is trying to get his tickets refunded.
  • Saints fans paid (or tried to) for a billboard that said 28-3 to try to remind falcons fans as if we aren’t reminded by it a lot.

  • It is pretty funny how Saints fans complained about the refs when in 2012, a replacement ref for a Saints game was a saints fan. He was eventually pulled from the game but Saints fans apparently found no problem with a fan reffing a game but found problems with a former falcons player, who played in the 70s for 4 years, reffing a game.
  • The Aints also went through a dark time and almost all their fans wore paper bags to their games. Sad.

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One of the worst stadium debacles ever

Image: Super Bowl XLVII - Baltimore Ravens v San Francisco 49ers

Who can forget when hosting a super bowl, their lights went out in the middle of the game?

Gregg Williams/Bountygate

The worst blemish on the entire Saints franchise was when Sean Payton allowed Gregg Williams, an assistant, to create monetary prizes for injuring players. This went on from 2009-2012 and not so coincidentally they won their Super Bowl during that time period.

Stupid things that have happened in New Orleans

When Yellow Fever swept New Orleans, more than 40,000 people died. The death toll left people wondering if the dead were coming back to life to infect the living. So, during funeral processions, they began to map out crazy routes through the city, in order to confuse the dead. At some point, they added jazz music to the processional.

Somehow, New Orleans lawmakers decided that alligators were in mortal danger of being stolen, despite the fact that these animals can take your arm off if you mess with them. The penalty for stealing an alligator is jail time of up to 10 years. Luckily, stealing Crawfish is also punishable by law. There’s nothing worse than sitting down to a delicious dinner of crawfish, only to have it stolen by an armed robber. Luckily the State Legislature created a law that made it illegal to steal crawfish. Looks like Jameis Winston doesn’t like his yearly trip to New Orleans.

When The Axeman of New Orleans was on his rampage, killing people in their homes with his axe and straight edge razor, residents were terrified. He sent a message to the local paper, stating that he wouldn’t harm anyone who was playing jazz when he walked by, looking for a target. The entire city became fans of jazz music, pretty much overnight.

In 1985, Jerome Moody attended a party for lifeguards, celebrating the fact that an entire year had passed without any drownings. Four lifeguards were on duty during the party, and many of the guests, were themselves lifeguards. However, Mr. Moody was found at the bottom of the deep end of the pool, at the end of the party. He had died from drowning.

Fan’s Experiences

Reeves Guyton

@reevesg55

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Phil Veasley
Phil Veasley is a resident of Atlanta who has been a die-hard Hawks fan since 2005. He is Civil Engineer student at KSU. Currently, Phil writes for Atlanta Hawks Talk while also managing all ATLSportsHQ sites. He can be reached on Twitter at @_ATLPhil

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